Hitting Pause on Dating Apps

It’s currently Memorial Day Weekend, the unofficial start to summer, and I am starting to contemplate a summer vacation of my own. I am nothing if not vacation-oriented.

The last two summers I finagled an excuse to spend a month or so in Europe, like a true lady of leisure (which I’m not, but don’t tell anyone). I have no travel plans for this summer but that’s ok. I have a different kind of reprieve planned for myself: a break from dating apps.

At this point, I am only on Feeld (which I have complicated feelings about). But frankly, all dating apps, in all permutations, are exhausting and spent for me. Their novelty wore off a decade ago, and every new angle or take on the swipe-left-or-right is, at best, a marginal improvement.

I’m not alone in feeling dejected and burnt out on the apps. Many singles are leaving them. Match Group even got hit with a lawsuit, alleging their apps are designed to keep people apart, not bring them together. Apps tend to commodify us - both ourselves and the people we swipe on - leading to a departure from reality, almost entirely for the worse.

That’s not to say I haven’t met good people on dating apps. I have! But I can feel my own attitude shifting to be one of frustration and disillusionment - a far cry from the giddiness and excitement I wish I still had for each new date. I’ve been missing that energy lately, and while I don’t think dating apps are the only cause of this shift, they are certainly a big part of it.

So as summer comes into view, I’m ready to put dating apps aside for the season. I want to focus on being out in these streets, doing things I think are fun and hanging out with my friends. Maybe even meeting new people - but entirely in person. No more digital dating.

Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder. Or maybe I’ll figure out that life is better without the apps. Or maybe, just maybe, the digital dating period of my life will finally come to a close.