Wow, He’d Love That
A few years ago, I had a one night stand with a guy who was my dream man on paper. International, excellent conversationalist, attractive, and tactile - he had it all. When I brought him back to my apartment, he marveled at the view from the 15th floor, which, in addition to seeing into the penthouse of the hotel across the street, had a great sight line of planes landing at one of the nearby airports. He remarked on it, and spent a few minutes lost in thought, watching the planes with glee - before planting one on me and moving our adventures to the bedroom.
When I moved into my current place not too long afterwards, my view of incoming flights improved. On a clear night, I can see upwards of five or six planes in a row, lining up to touch down. For someone who isn’t an airplane person? It’s actually very beautiful. And sometimes I find myself thinking, “Wow, he’d love that.”
Similarly, I love a good thrift shopping excursion, and know that a previous situationship did too. Every once in a while, I find a well-preserved antique in the basement of Salvation Army or a beautiful lamp at a flea market, and think “wow, he’d love that”.
I’ve said that when you break up with someone, you break up with the good as well as the bad, though sometimes you get lucky and can keep the benefits. The flip side is also true - when they break it off with me or stop calling, they let go of the right to the cool things about me. I won’t scout vintage furniture for them anymore. They can’t enjoy the airplane view from my apartment. They lose me and all the benefits I come with.
When things ended with Blondie, part of the reason I was so sad was because our conversations about work and business had been so good. I love being able to talk shop with a guy, and he was smart in this realm, but with very different kinds of knowledge from me. When he broke it off, his last message was “keep me posted on what happens with your business”, which I didn’t respond to. But all I could think was: obviously I won’t. You end things with me, you lose everything, even the joys of talking shop.
A break up doesn’t completely stop the thoughts I have for the other person. I’m not in touch with the thrifting situationship anymore (a woman can only be humiliated so many times) but I still take pictures (remaining unsent) of the pieces I think he’d like. I am tempted to send business memes to Blondie (but I never do). I still think “Wow, he’d love that” for many of my old flames. But that’s the brakes - he remains ignorant of what I could have shared.
And I love that.
