Divorce - My Weird Obsession

I am weirdly obsessed with divorce. That is so strange to admit - and not just because my parents are still happily married and I’ve never been married (or divorced for that matter). Like a precocious child fascinated by death, I am drawn to the oddity, the morbidity of things ending.

Now, I want to be clear: I don’t wish divorce on anyone. And I certainly don’t marinate in it. I haven’t seen any of the Scenes from a Difficult Marriage movies and shows. That’s not what holds my attention. To me, it’s the logistics of how to end something that was so central to how you planned your life. I am still mourning the cancellation of Untying the Knot on Bravo.

The children. The house. The retirement money. The goals and dreams you shared. Maybe the dog? These things that you began together have to morph into a completely different arrangement, because your personal relationship with this cornerstone figure has come to an end. And wow, there are so many emotions tied into that. I find it all fascinating.

It may seem strange to kick off a series about love, sex, relationships and dating with an essay about divorce, but maybe it’s worth starting here in order to “begin with the end in mind.” Relationships either end in death or a breakup and if that relationship takes the form of a marriage, that break up means divorce. So maybe this is the perfect place to start. Especially because starting with a contemplation on death might feel a bit heavy handed.

The reason divorce has been particularly top of mind for me this week is this fabulous interview with Laura Wasser in the New Yorker (ugh, I have become one of those people who waxes on about something they read in the New Yorker, but I digress). I’ve seen Laura Wasser speak a time or two and have known who she is for a while. Yes, she is powerful, and beautiful, and works with celebrities. But a huge part of her appeal to me has always been that she seems so firmly rooted in herself, and anchored in the often seedy-feeling niche (family law) that she has blossomed in. More than anything, she brings knowledge, prowess, and respect to herself on a professional level. I deeply admire it.

This interview is well done and a great read. I love her take on how she thinks about evolving the family structure, about the role money can play in people’s lives, and the role that relationships have played in her own life. My thoughts kept drifting to her final line about wanting to get laid - maybe that’s all that I need too! Give it a read and let me know what you think. And here’s hoping that if someone must get divorced, that it’s fast and minimally painful.