Crush Story - The Jordanian Tour Guide
First, you must understand that I did not intend for this to happen. I bought a spot on a standardized group bus tour for 8 days in Jordan, a conservative, Muslim country in the Middle East. The running joke amongst friends was that I would meet my husband on this trip - we all thought he would be another American, another tourist. When I arrived in Amman at 1am and realized most of the other people on the tour were going to be people in their 60s and 70s, I was frankly relieved. No temptations on an intentionally non-tempting trip. (Come on, I almost went to Italy instead!)
So imagine my surprise when the next morning, our tour guide turned up and was, as I later described him to my friends, “stupid attractive.” That may have been a bit of hyperbole but I was NOT expecting this man to just pop up and be hot and charming and informative. I love a man who teaches me things. Tour Guide had no wedding ring - which raised many questions amongst our group - and an easy going smile, was quick to laugh, and his job is literally to handle logistics and educate us. Yes, I am fanning myself now.
I first woke up to his deeper charm at a cheesy souvenir and lunch stop. I was laughing and speaking to the shop clerk, who was showing another youth on the tour how to tie the traditional head scarf properly, when Tour Guide came up, threw his arm around me (this move makes me weak in the knees every time), and said “how many camels for her?” When the man offered 10, he steered us out and made me feel a little shinier in the process.
Having broken the touch barrier (who broke it first? Was it me? Was it him? Was it that arm? I don’t remember), there were lots of little touches throughout the rest of the week. He had an excellent whisper as well - he had to confide in someone amongst all the old people. We got into longer chats about investing (he had a friend in crypto) and money (how the tourism business works in Jordan), his kids (he has three), and dirty jokes (zipper = dick in Arabic!). He had excellent banter and made me laugh so easily. Flirting plus good looks plus banter = kryptonite.
He had been tour guiding for a long time, so everywhere he went, he ‘knew a guy’ and usually, he knew all the guys. In the desert, he helped “negotiate” the “dowry” for me and one of the other younger people on the tour with Yousef, a hilarious Bedouin. I got more (55 camels vs her 50) “because of the age” which as I asked later, meant because of “experience.” I confessed to being competitive and had to make sure I got more. Tour Guide laughed with a very gratifying glint in his eye.
In the desert, we went stargazing. I was showing him my star app (Stellarium) at the end and he put his arm around me to aim the phone and showing me the the planet he wanted to see. Super romantic. I am truly putty in this man’s hands at this point.
One morning on our way out of the hotel, I saw these older Spanish people who I met when I arrived initially and stopped to chat with them for a second while Tour Guide was standing nearby. After exchanging pleasantries in Spanish and chitchatting about what we would see that day, Tour Guide whispered, “wow you speak Spanish! You look so different speaking another language” in a really complimentary way. Getting a compliment like that felt incredible - a surge of pride and glow of recognition.
Towards the end of the trip, after much talk of camels and dowries, my fellow youth and I got another do"wry offer for 60 camels each plus a castle. I asked him how much that was (~$350k) and said I’d turn it down. “I’m worth more cuz I’ll make more in my lifetime and I’m an investment.”
Tour Guide then said “ok I’m gonna marry you now, you’re gonna be my future wife” and said he’d have to go into debt to afford me. He spent the rest of the day mentioning it and introducing me to his guy in each stop as “my future wife.” It was HEAVEN.
At lunch, we were talking about what we look for in men. I argued that I still need a man (which he agreed with and was maybe his point all along) even if I’m independent and have my own house. That led into a discussion of my obsession with Spanish men and how much I love dark, thick hair - and he immediately started obviously playing with his own (amazing) hair, just trying to flirt and turn me on. It was an incredible feeling to have a man having to be obvious and work for my affection! Prove himself to me! At one point during lunch, his shoe grazed my knee, and he reached under the table and rubbed my knee to make sure to get all the dust off. I thought I’d melt.
At the end of the tour, he tried to rally myself and the other two youths to get a coffee with him on our last night in Jordan, but it never came to fruition. I wanted to but we were all exhausted. I wrote him a nice note to go with my tip (was it all for the tip? I choose to think not) and assumed I’d never see him again.
Miraculously, I did see him once more. I procrastinated going to breakfast the next morning until the perfect moment. He came back to the hotel, after almost everyone had left for the airport, to have a meeting with the manager of all the tours. I was grabbing breakfast with one of the older ladies who was left when I heard her exclaim “Tour Guide!” So I got to get a few more minutes of time with him, got a few more hugs and “I’m gonna miss you“ exchanges which felt extra special since they felt a little stolen.
In the end, I doubt I’ll ever see him again. But wow - what a feeling. And what a surprise.