IRL Experiment Update: End of Summer
It is official after Labor Day, which means my summer of experimenting with meeting people IRL is drawing to a close. Well, sort of. Let me explain.
It’s been a blissful few months without dating apps. I had some actual plans to try and meet new faces in new places. I made some of it up on the fly. I’m not going to lie - it feels like most of the ‘plans’ didn’t actually pan out well. And most of the results came from going out and doing things I was doing anyway.
The calling card, the tennis bracket, and most recently, a long-planned concert rife with age appropriate men went basically nowhere. I didn’t hand out many of the calling cards (partially my own fault). I still have not met up with anyone from the tennis bracket (disappointing, because I really wanted to play tennis this summer). I bought tickets almost a year ago for a heavily male-skewing concert and was surrounded by couples and incoherently drunk men - I had a great time at the concert though. This hasn’t lessened my interest in doing things I want to do in the name of upping my dating potential pool, but has helped me refine my perspective. Namely, being friendly and open all the time, not just at designated activities or times.
I’ve had more success meeting new people in places where I was already being social - with friends at a mixer, at concerts and raves, and at my favorite community organization. Places were I am already talking to people, open to connecting, and at ease. Something about my outlook changes and it must read on my face, as I get approached by others far more often than I approach them. How the hell do I bottle this and deploy it when I actually need the confidence? How can I turn more of these out-and-about opportunities into successes? This is the question that keeps me up at night. I very much embrace this as my new mission: to keep developing this muscle of flirting IRL.
I’m definitely not interested in returning to dating apps. I am interested in dating but the app-ification of it all is done for me. Maybe not forever, but… for probably ever. If / when things end with my current paramour, maybe I’ll feel differently. But I don’t think they are for me. Ten years of trying is enough.
All of this to say: while the summer has ended, IRL experimentation is living on. I want to keep trying to put myself out there. I have a few ideas (should I start wearing anime tshirts to the gym and take up weight lifting?) but mostly, excited to keep trying. Life is for living, not swiping.
